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As renowned sex and marital therapist David Schnarch reveals in this revolutionary book, keeping passion and intimacy alive requires facing the anxiety of defining yourself while getting closer to your partner, a process called differentiation. In his sexual crucible approach, you don't have to compromise or give up your desires; instead, you have to stand on your own, stay close to your partner, and be prepared to soothe yourself when you don't get what you want. Sexual encounters provide perfect opportunities to differentiate and develop the strength of love deeply. Mixing humor and compassion, Schnarch describes couples' explicit sexual encounters and dramatic therapy sessions to demonstrate how they found personal, marital, and sexual fulfillment far greater than they ever dreamed possible. In this respectful, erotic, uplifting, and spiritual guide to sexual and emotional fulfillment, David Schnarch seeks to bring out the best in each of us, to help us love on life's terms, and to revel in invigorating adult sexuality.